Crypto portfolios are looking rough today with the market shedding 3.81%, dragging the total crypto economy down to $3.88 trillion after face-planting beneath the $4 trillion line.

Billions got torched in derivatives liquidations as overleveraged gamblers blew themselves up, leaving the market in tatters. With weekend liquidity thinner than a dollar-store napkin, the crypto economy was a sitting duck for wild price whiplash.

The blame game is circling back to the synchronized expiry of bitcoin and ethereum options, futures, and other derivatives—a perfect storm that yanked the rug right out from under the market. Some are chalking up the slide to a classic sell-the-news tantrum after the U.S. Federal Reserve’s rate cut. The market tried a half-hearted rebound, but bitcoin, ether, and the rest of the top-tier coins are still limping, nursing fresh claw marks from the bears.

U.S. stocks are on a victory lap, with the S&P 500 smashing fresh highs and dragging its index friends along for the ride. Gold, not to be outshined, just flexed to a record $3,746 per ounce of .999 fine bullion. The Fed’s rate cuts greased the wheels for equities by making money cheaper to borrow, sparking a wave of investment hype.

Gold’s rally tells the flip side of the story—cheap money makes bullion shine brighter since the cost of holding a yield-less asset suddenly feels like pocket change. Together, it’s a triple market split-screen: stocks partying on growth optimism while gold struts as the ultimate insurance policy against trouble brewing. All this is happening against a crypto market slump that some call odd, but seasoned September crypto watchers know it’s just the script playing out right on cue.

September strikes again, serving up its trademark pain with a market cocktail no one ordered—stocks toasting record highs, gold basking in safe-haven glory, and crypto left sulking in the corner. Blame rate cuts, blame derivatives, blame the calendar—it’s all the same hangover. One thing’s certain: in this circus, there’s always a bull, a bear, and someone cleaning up the confetti.

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