Here's the premise to a South Park episode about the WNBA: Cartman learns about this thing called prediction markets and how he can get rich by betting on crazy things like throwing dildos at the WNBA. He tells the gang: "You guys! You guys! You won't believe this! We can get paid to throw dildos at the WNBA." Kyle calls him a fatass and says that that he's horrible, to which Cartman says "What part of this are you not understanding, Kyle? Dildos. WNBA. Money," and then calls Kyle a bad jew and a disgrace to his ancestors. Meanwhile at the WNBA we learn that ratings have been in the toilet and that Dildogate is all a big conspiracy to draw viewership back to the sport. Cartman exploits the free money glitch for a while until the WNBA bans bags. He then recruits Butters to "smuggle it in," using "god's pocket." Butters says a "Ahh, jeez," but does it anyways. They try to ask Mr. Garrison for advice at some point on how to smuggle it in but he slams the door on them. Cut to Diana Taurasi's speech about how janitors get paid more then players and how it's unfair to the WNBA players. We then we cut to sad music and a janitor sitting in the locker room sulking: "They don't think we deserve to be paid." The chief janitor smacks him. He has an eyepatch and looks battle scarred. "Don't ever let me hear you say that again. This is the big leagues. Look at my eye. I lost it back in '23. It was a pink one. Shaped like a dragon. Had ridges. I'll never forget that dilly." The battle scarred janitor is the captain of the janitor team and he's scarred from being hit by flying dildos. We learn that there are 5 courtside janitors and that they're ELITE janitors who run basketball plays better than the WNBA to clean up all of the dildos that are being thrown on the court. That's why they're being paid more. They're the real MVP team. We cut to scenes of the janitors practicing late night cleaning drills as if they're professional basketball athletes. Catching, throwing, sweeping, all gracefully done in slow motion. The editing makes it obvious that they're elite. Cartman continues to go to games and becomes a "Green Goblin" type dildo-throwing supervillain character who makes the news, etc. and keeps going until he meets other people encroaching on his territory. "What the f**k, dude!? Get your own thing!" There are other throwers trying to compete on his turf. They're throwing the dildos before he can, other colors, and making money in the betting markets before him. The episode devolves into dildo wars with all the fans competing like Mad Max Thunderdome to throw Dildos onto the court to get paid, and all the players having to dodge them. At some point in the episode Kenny is randomly killed by a rogue flying black one. We have a montage of people smuggling in dildos with "push it to the limit" playing in the background like in Scarface. In their butts, in their hair, like salamis taped to their backs, hidden in sinks in the bathrooms, plumbing, in buns instead of hot dogs, etc. At halftime we see the janitors come in and run their plays to clean all the dildos and the WNBA players are shocked: "What grace! What beauty! I never knew you could do that on the court!" The WNBA players learn their lesson as to why the janitors deserve their pay and they learn new formations from the janitors. Janitors and players now reach an understanding. Cartman realizes the invisible hand of the free market has closed all the arbitrage he had in his dildo throwing grift and he gets bored and stops. Kyle says "I learned something today. I have no idea what it was but I think it was something." ----- And there you have it. A timely, topical, funny, South Park Episode. Just fill in the missing holes, details, add the dialogue, filler scenes, more jokes, make it all cohesive, etc. and you're done. It's open source. If anyone wants to animate it, write dialogue, change it, make it real etc., even if the South Park guys want to use it, have at it. Enjoy!(Autism Capital 🧩)