The following is a transcript of my conversation with the Fed on its new Fedchat service yesterday morning: Me: So what do you do? Fed: In an apolitical way, we maintain full employment and stable prices. Me: So you must be cutting rates now, right? Fed: No because that prick Trump who we all hate is messing with the global trade order and that will cause inflation. Me: But the data isn’t showing inflation. Fed: We just say we’re data dependent to trick NPCs in to believing we actually follow the stated mandate. Me: Totally makes sense. Carry on. Fed: Great. Please let us know if we can help with anything else. We are here to serve the American people.